1. |
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its been hard to find a doctor
that would believe me when i said that my insides were burnin
ive been 9 times in the past few months
it took him 9 $30 copays to get the gist
but he cant seem to see that im not there cause of his
fox news bullshit
even though i said as i was leavin im goin somewhere else cause of ur
fox news bullshit
you cant make a man look that bad and expect to get away with it
no you cant make a man look that bad and expect to live
july 6
i spent $61 on groceries
and 10 on the dvd set of sex and the city
the 7th i cringed as i remembered that i dressed up
as sarah palin for a school project
i justified that i was too young to understand her inexperience with foreign policy
i just saw someone with bangs and glasses at a podium
who looked like me
you cant make a man look that bad and expect to get away with it
no you cant make a man look that bad and expect to live
and i know that i reach the eyes before i reach the brain
|
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2. |
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when i first met you you gave me a gamecube
you said it was gonna teach me how to drive
and then you had to tell me why your dog was still alive
you said someone just picked him up bc he was a purebred
that doesn't make sense
and then ya told her that u killed a man and there was a newspaper article
i don't remember if you were drunk or stoned or lying or feeling admirable
and she told me that your older sister screwed you up and i think a watered down version of that got to me
you can send me an email apologizing for smoking p**
idk why you think that that's the part that i was angry about
you can send me an email saying that you still l*** me
im sure that you think that that is true but it's a little fucked for me
i was so good i didn't think about you for weeks and then i went to fb
you haven't changed anything since that profile picture of august 2018
so i went to one of those websites where they scan ur records
so i could know your address without you knowing mine
but it turns out you knew where i was the whole time
you know the chorus bitch you've already read it
especially for uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuu
i wish youd send me an email apologizing for making me pick out groceries while you told me you were leaving
i wish there was no email at all i wish you hadn't stayed the extra two weeks but i get it its hard to make a break cleeheheaan
especially for ü
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3. |
trader joe's
02:06
|
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if i could just live in a trendy cottage
if i could just walk to trader joes
cause you know its so much easier to walk
but i went the other day and they didnt have
shake and bake for pork chops
i really miss my dads ingredients
from bilo
so maybe i dont want what i thought i wanted
maybe i dont know who i am at 19
its really only comin as a shock to me
well i took a trip out west last spring
it was lovely i thought this is how lifes gonna be
turns out life
is different from travelin
on the last few days she said i wanna go home
i miss my mother and my brother and i said
i dont
now im livin my first full spring out west
and all i wanna do is go home
my parents are finally something to miss
so maybe i dont want what i thought i wanted
maybe i dont know who i am at 19
its really only comin as a shock to me
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4. |
georgia o'keeffe
03:13
|
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therapist said talk to urself like ur a little kid again
but that little kid would be mad that i never ever
made it to a b cup
and im not pals with jesus
oh fuck
almost got a tattoo related to
jesus
im healthier now
ive replaced my shopping addiction with an exercise one
but i dont look rich or ripped oh god
cant even stick to one addiction
tryin to learn a lesson from my father
he got sober and became a better man
but that doesnt mean that hed be ok if i got an aoc tramp stamp
and i will never be ok with the way that i spend my time
please please make me kind
but let me be a bitch just one more time its the last time
i have a daydream where i am georgia o'keeffe
probably cause i crave females validating me
cant quite make those friendships stick
and i think that id like to live like her
ladder on the moon
and then i realize i cant deal with lonliness
i tried and i failed it
and i will never be ok with the way that i spend my time
please please make me kind
but let me be a bitch just one more time its the last time
took a walk to the cemetery
where i did a scavenger hunt as a little girl scout
and i had a little talkin to myself
promise to make me wise
promise to make me wise
promise to make me wise
i know that its gonna take some time
but promise to make me wise
|
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5. |
||||
i went into the incubator
but it was a tanning bed now
i am all dried out
a deluded creature
to think that i could be
both a woman
and a person
so put that shit out on the porch
put that shit out on the porch
put that shit out on the
dusky
rosy
la
brown
im tryin to regain
a source of
femininity
running over in my
head
again and again
what the girls would think
so put that shit out on the porch
put that shit out on the porch
put that shit out on the
(i wasnt in a mood)
(and also i didnt like it)
better to have you inside the tent pissin out
better to have you outside the tent pissin in
better to have you in
put that shit out on the porch
put that shit out on the porch
put that shit out on the porch
put that shit
|
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6. |
offhand girl
03:21
|
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it was an offhand comment
you look like an old friend of mine
it was an offhand comment
but i am not an offhand girl
now its four years later im still haunted
you thought of me the way you thought of her
it was an offhand thought
i liked havin someone there when i got home
i never thought
how maybe you shouldve been at work
now when i have to wait until wednesday
to go to the grocery store
ill know the fault is yours
i am not an offhand girl according to yours
it was an offhand moment
i had to stop a romantic movement
it was an offhand moment
cryin when i shouldntve been
i am acting outside of myself and its all your fault
everything is blocked by a scene and its all your fault
a scene you probably dont even remember
but i remember
i am not an offhand girl according to yours
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hey there rabbit Boone, North Carolina
a diy project out of nc in honor of ethan hawke
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